Planet of the Babes
Three astronauts from the 21st century crash land on Earth 2000 years into the future to discover a civilization ruled by apes. Summary With the release of Tim Burton's Planet of the Apes movie in 2001, there was renewed interest in the classic Apes movies too. An unexpected result of this was the release of not one, not two, but three porn-movie 'tributes' to Planet of the Apes - 'Planet of the Babes', released in 2001, 'Playmate of the Apes', released in 2002, and 'Planet of the Erotic Ape', released in 2002. Of the three, Planet of the Babes was the more hardcore and also the most directly faithful to the first Apes movie in terms of plot. In fact, the acting scenes that string the movie together are lifted almost exactly from that film, with slight, 'amusing' name changes, etc. The ape make-ups are predictably poor - the gorilla's are merely pull-over masks, the chimps are little better with large muzzles that barely move, while the orangutans at least have some detail to their faces, but again the mouths don't move. Much of the plot was omitted, due to time constraints, but of course the story was a secondary concern in this movie. Primary Cast: * Asia Carrera as Coma * Steven St. Croix as Captain Tyler * Bridgette Kerkove as wild human * Gwen Summers as human caged with Coma * Flick Shagwell as caged human * Lola as human caged with Lindow * Melissa West * Mickey G. as Lindow * Nick East as Stu * Dave Hardman as caged human Synopsis Planet of the Babes Three astronauts, Tyler, Lindow and Stu, are trekking through a desert scene, having crash-landed on a mysterious, seemingly lifeless planet. Eventually, they find a watery oasis, and mute, naked humans who steal their clothes while the astronauts are swimming. After becoming friendly with the humans, a claxon is sounded and the humans scatter in the face of a hunting party - gorillas! Stu is shot dead, Lindow is captured in a net, and Tyler, after trying to help one of the human females, is shot in the neck. Tyler awakens in a cage in room with other captured humans. A gorilla named Julian is guarding them and a female chimp named Doctor Vira comes to check on Tyler. Because he was still wearing his astronaut boots, and nothing else, when captured she nick-names him 'Fancy Boots'. He tries to speak with her but his throat wound prevents him from making any sound. A more senior ape, an orangutan called Doctor Anus also come to visit Vira's laboratory, and condemns her for trying to find similarities between humans and apes. Later, the humans are moved to an outdoor cage where Tyler tries to write in the dirt in an attempt to communicate with Vira and her companion, Doctor Cocknelius. His attempt his noticed by Dr Anus and covered up before anyone else sees it. In a final desperate move, back at the laboratory, Tyler grabs a pen and paper from Vira and scrawls his name. Vira takes Tyler to her home where she and Cocknelius question Tyler about his origins. Vira arranges for the human female to be put in Tyler's cage. He names her 'Coma'. But Dr Anus has arranged for Tyler to be gelded and when his gorillas arrive to take Tyler away he makes a break for freedom. Recaptured and now having regained his voice, Tyler, with Vira and Cocknelius, is summoned before an ape tribunal of inquiry consisting of Dr Aximus, Dr Anus and Dr Kong. When Tyler tries to defend himself he is ordered to be silenced. Vira and Cocknelius tell Tyler's story, although only believing parts of it themselves. When they mention that there were other astronauts, and one may still be alive, the tribunal decides to investigate further. The humans captured with Tyler are brought to a cage and Tyler sees Lindow, his head bearing the scars of an operation, has become a mindless sex-maniac, and "he was the normal one". Furious, Tyler charges at Dr Anus, blaming him for destroying Lindow's mind. The tribunal condemns Tyler, but with time running out, Julian is knocked out and Tyler and Coma are freed from their cages by a young chimp who identifies himself as Cocknelius' nephew. Taken to the outskirts of the ape city by Vira and Cocknelius, Tyler and Coma head into the desert again to look for their freedom. Tyler takes Cocknelius' gun and finally asks him "are you a member of the NRA?". External links *Planet of the Babes entry at the Internet Movie Database (IMDB) References Category:Apes Spoofs and Imitations Category:Movies